Bad, bad news

September 7, 2008 in Health, Home, Kids, Life, family, friends, internet, jobs, work

My wife, Talishia came back from Bloodstock on 18th August, which was our wedding anniversary (13th) and when she came in, she said that she was going to her Pagan pub moot. This struck me as odd seeing as though she was really excited about spending the time together before she went away.  I gave her the anniversary card that I brought her and said that I couldn’t really afford to buy her a present but the tattoo she was getting would be my present to her as it we had agreed the week before that it was to signify our never ending love for each other and I refused to let her have my name tattooed on her even though we had sais that there was absolutely no chance in hell that we would ever split, we loved each other too much. She went to the moot and when she got back, she said she was tired and was going to bed. I promptly switched off what I was doing and said I’m coming too. She said no, I’m too tired. Bearing in mind that for 13 years, if she was tired, she would go to sleep on the sofa and go to bed with me. I just felt that this was odd and it must be that she was exceptionally tired.

On Tuesday, she said that Terry (who she had gone to Bloodstock with) was passed out drunk most of the time and if it hadn’t been for these group of people she met, then she would have had a crap time. One of the guys, Dave, even gave her his MySpace details and MSN address which I thought was really nice. SO I helped her find him on myspace and set up her msn to talk to him. Later on I said to her “what do you want to do tonight as it is Tuesday and our evening together”. She said “No, that’s fine you play on your computer game as I am tired and will probably go to sleep early. So I played Diablo II for a bit while she was chatting to Dave online. At about 11 pm as usual, I switched the game off and lounged on the sofa to read. 11.30, she said goodnight and went to bed. I frowned as this was most unusual for her.

Wednesday, she went back to work, and in the evening, she got straight back onto the computer and started talking to Dave again. I was a little … annoyed, but I let her get on with it as she had not long met him. I said about watching a film together, and she said that she had a bad day at work and as it was the first day back she was absolutely knackered, and she went to bed relatively early. Alone. I went to bed just after 2am and put my arm around her, but she shrugged it off. I felt that this was an instinctive reaction as I had made her jump, but I didn’t want to make her jump again.

Thursday she had the tattoo done, and it looked really nice. Thursdays is our evening together, and I asked of she wanted to watch CSI New York as we were part way through season 3 and we watch a couple of episodes every week. She said that her day at work was awful and that her tattoo was hurting her, she was going to say a quick hi to Dave and go to bed. 12:15 am she went to bed. Alone. I tried going up to bed, and she said that was really tired and could do with going to sleep on her own. To say I was peeved would be an understatement. “That time of the month” I thought. That plays havoc with any woman’s feelings.

Friday, my sister came round with an anniversary card and apologising that it was late. I so wanted to ask my sister if she had noticed a change in my wife, but I felt I was being paranoid. Talishia came home from work after my sister had gone, and I gave her the anniversary to read. It was a really nice card and well thought out with sentiment. Talishia looked at the back and said “nice”. Inside I fumed. I said “you haven’t looked at it properly” So she looked at it properly, and said “nice” before turning her computer on. I went to give her a kiss, but she pulled away and said “I smoke, and I haven’t brushed my teeth to get rid of the taste or smell”.

Saturday, my family turned up, and Talishia decided to show off her tattoo before she went off to work on a “Late-Sleep-Early” as I call them. At  the time of writing this I can see someone out of the corner of my eye watching everything I am typing. They are relatively short and wearing a flowery dress. She is intently watching the words. I will see if I can get more details without moving my head. What the Late-Sleep-Early refers to, is she goes to work 14:30-22:00 does a sleep in, and then works 07:30-14:00. When she showed the tattoo, she said it was an Egyptian Ankh as she always loved the Egyptians and wanted to have that as she liked it. This wound me up, but I couldn’t say anything due to my family being there and I am not that rude. (Or at least I try not to be). After she left, I felt like saying that about the Ankh, and also if they had noticed a change but I again, felt it was just paranoia. This paranoia kept me awake nearly all night.

Sunday, Talishia came home, and said … “We need to talk”. She then told me that she no longer loved me. She no longer felt that our marriage was right and that we should finish. She said that she had been feeling like this for a while! (Could have fooled me) She gave the usual “it’s not you, it’s me”.

She must realise I am not stupid. I know that she has decided to split with me because she wants to jump into bed with this 24 year old bipolar bisexual guy that she met for four days, and she has made it clear that it’s over and that there is absolutely no chance of reconciliation. I have been trying to save this marriage something just moved behind me – I heard it and I am alone in the room I have been trying to save this marriage as I am unwilling to just throw away 13 years of my life for nothing. Well, I can’t say for nothing as I have two absolutely wonderful kids.

My marriage is now, unfortunately beyond saving. I confronted her about Dave and she admits snogging him at Bloodstock, and has said that she plans to get together with him when they go see Disturbed in October. I told her that she is the one to go, and that I am keeping the kids. She told me to ask the kids whether they wanted to be with me or her, and I hit the roof. You NEVER ask children to choose between parents, that is plain wrong! I also said that I will not have her parade her new boyfriend in front of the kids so they will stay with me. The fact that she is working also makes it unviable for her to have them. I am disabled and cannot work, so they are better off with me, and I have wonderful neighbours who are willing to help me out if I need it.

Talishia is now looking for a flat and went to look at one on Friday that looks promising. She is getting a surprise from me on Monday though. It is time for me to stop being a door mat and her walking all over me.

It is my nan who keeps moving.