Only a few days left now until one of the biggest changes in my life. This weekend, the kids and I are moving to “Northshire”. We have a nice three bed property that we are moving into with my girlfriend and her daughter. Kids have nearly packed their rooms up. I told them last night that all consoles, computers and gaming systems were switched off and they weren’t getting them back until we have moved – unless everything is sorted before that.
My girlfriend is having more of a problem with packing as she has to juggle packing and work, but she does live closer to the new property so we can both shift stuff after the move.
On another positive note, Social Services have said that they no longer need to be involved in our lives which is absolutely fantastic.
It’s the end of the first month of the new year, and already this year has proved to be starting well. I’m taking a bit of time out at the moment to write this instead of packing. Last year I had decided to move to Leicester to be near friends and I admit I was running away. Things have changed though. Now I am in love with a lovely woman, and I know she feels the same way about me. We are getting a bungalow together in a small village in the Leicester area. Rather than me moving into Liz’s house, we are starting a new one together, so it is our house, and no-one is invading.
I have already spoken to my ex-wife and she accepts my need to move. She was understandably upset when I said that I was taking the children, but after I said to her that it would give her more time with her boyfriend, then she said that she was happy for me to bring them down when she had weekend’s off and for more time during holidays. The first return date has already been sorted which coincides with mother’s day in the UK.
I hate being so far away from Liz at the moment, and will be glad when we are under the same roof with her going out to work and me keeping the house. The move is taking place on 13th February as I wanted to be with her on Valentine’s day. It is the biggest move of my life, and I am so looking forward to it. 12 days until I see Liz, 13 days until we move. Happy doesn’t start to cut it. 
Oh well, back to packing ….
After my few days with my girlfriend, I came home yesterday (12th January) and as usual it was a very difficult parting. I hate leaving her, but this time at least I know it’s not going to be too long as I will be going back on Monday 18th. Then that will be my last time of going up to see her until February 
That is going to be really hard. Nearly a month of not seeing her.
The journey home wasn’t too bad. My train from Hinckley to Leicester only took 20 minutes, then I had over an hour to wait from my next train with delays. I watched Dollhouse on the train between Leicester and St Pancras, then I had a 40 minute wait before I could get on the High Speed train from St Pancras to Folkestone. Arriving at Folkestone West at 16:06, it was extremely cold. The taxi got me home at about 16:25 where my son was already waiting for me at a neighbour’s house, and the moment I walked through the door, I got a phone call from my daughter telling me that she was at school still doing Trampolining and did I mind? Do I mind her doing something that she enjoys and helps her get fit? Let me think about that? lol no I didn’t mind. So when she asked me if she could do it every Tuesday, the answer was yes.
I’m now waiting for a call from my girlfriend as she’s got an ordeal of a day today, and I wish I was with her. Looking at the fact that I will be with her again in five days.
Today is Sunday and I have been here since Friday afternoon. I was worried about my chances of getting here because of the snow causing so much in the way of disruptions to the rail networks across the country. Now the worry I have is for getting back home again on Tuesday. Normally I would thrill at the thought of being snowed in here so I couldn’t go home, but there are a couple of reasons why I can’t. One is that I want to get back to see my kids and see how my cat is doing and two, I only have enough tablets for Tuesday.
So far, since being here, I have had a fantastic time with my wonderful girlfriend. Although we have not done much, just being in each other’s company has been terrific. Last night we watched a film that neither of us had seen before and both thoroughly enjoyed it. It was Notting Hill with Hugh Grant and Julia Roberts. One point in the movie that really amused me, was that Anna Scott (Julia Roberts) is an actress and was saying about some actors and actresses use body doubles for naked or sex scenes. The reason I found this amusing, is that Roberts uses a double herself. 
One the cards for tonight is to watch Dancing on Ice. We both enjoy that program, which is good. Tomorrow, Liz is off work, so we have the day to ourselves, then home on Tuesday. But I have just got my tickets to come up next week. Yay
Today is the last day of 2009 and it has been one hell of a year. A year mainly spent in hell. In this year I have lost a lot of friends, and made some new ones. I met someone new for the first time when I went away in January which was great. Started divorce proceedings in February and finished them in August, had my ex-wife tell me to hit her in front of the kids, son got arrested for something he didn’t do. I started talking to someone on a friend’s facebook page in January and in November started dating her.
Daughter started secondary school which was a big step for her, son became a teenager. I hit rock bottom and carried on going, only to be helped up by someone I didn’t expect (the same person I am now dating) as well as one of my other friends who has been there talking to me and helping me through my own private hell. So I would like to thank these people for their parts in helping me no matter how small:
Liz R
Nikki
Zoe
Lola
Stevie
Tea
Bowch
Kellie
Gilly
Pixie
Lissie
Linda Jones
Linda Powell
Liz Dee
Matt
Vince and Sarah
Thank you to those who have remained my friends … goodbye to those who haven’t.
HAPPY NEW YEAR … Bring on 2010
This year has been a Christmas like no other. Liz and her daughter came down to stay with me for Christmas. They arrived late on 24th due to Liz working daytime. They turned up just before 11pm, so as a result of the three of us talking, we didn’t get to sleep until gone 4am. As a result we didn’t get up until midday on Christmas Day but it wasn’t going to be a traditional day anyway. We did the swapping presents, I gave Liz three Marillion albums and couldn’t resist getting her an electric can opener. I gave her daughter a PS2 game – Kingdom Hearts 2. Liz gave me 2 pillows – memory foam ones. Definitely a nice place to rest the head. She also brought me a dragon incense burner with 2 packs of dragon blood incense sticks. I cooked dinner which I think we all enjoyed. Then in the evening we settled down and watched Love Actually while Liz’s daughter went onto the internet to chat to her friends. After that we watched Jeff Dunham.
My kids came back to me today – boxing day and gave me the presents they had brought for me. My son gave me a large bar of chocolate and 2012: Doomsday, and my daughter gave me 4 bars of chocolate and a film that needs to be returned as I already had it. I brought my son a Sony Ericsson W395 amongst other things, and I brought my daughter a Samsung Genio (pink) as well as other things. Liz brought them Lego and a cuddly toy which they were over the moon with. Then at just before 5pm, Liz and her daughter had to go home. It was a very difficult parting but I am happy with the fact that the next time I see her will be on 9th January 2010.
I went away on Sunday, to go to Hinckley to see my girlfriend Liz. I left the house at 7.20 am and got to Folkestone Central station for my train that was due at 7.56. Sunday was the first day of the high speed trains in full service. Normally the train would take 1 hour 30-40 minutes to get from Folkestone Central to London Charing Cross, then 30 minutes on the tube to get to King’s Cross St Pancras then a 50 minute wait for that train. But Sunday it took 55 minutes to get from Folkestone Central to Kings Cross St Pancras with a 40 minute wait for the next train. I finally arrived in Hinckley with Liz waiting on the platform for me, so the first thing I did was give her a huge hug. Her daughter stayed with a friend on Sunday night which gave us time on our own. In the evening we had a chinese meal and watched Meet The Spartans which is a hilarious movie.
Monday we went and picked up Liz’s daughter from her friend’s house and we decided to go to Burger King for dinner, but when we got to the Meridian Centre, BK was closed. I suggested Frankie and Benny’s as I knew what they were like after Nikki and Zoe took me there for my birthday in June. The waitress screwed the order up a bit as she brought the main meal out before the starter and it seemed that they kept the main meal warm rather than making it again. But on the whole the food wasn’t too bad. We went back home afterwards and we were going to watch Shaun of the Dead but got distracted and so ended up not watching it.
Tuesday afternoon, Liz and I went shopping. I had my nipple piercing sorted out as it hasn’t healed in a year. The piercer said that the ring was the wrong thing to have in and he put in a D-Ring instead which immediately felt better and the pain I felt almost every day from it has subsided now. Then we went to the high street and had a look around the shops. We went to a coffee shop and had this yummy mince pie with a crumbly pastry top and a coffee. We went into a bakers and I asked if they had any Gypsy Tart and was greeted with the answer “what’s that?” So I have decided that next week I am going to make Liz and her daughter a Gypsy Tart so that they can see how delicious it is.
Wednesday was very very difficult for me as I had to come home. I know I had to come back for my kids, but I was leaving Liz behind. The journey home seemed to last forever and all I could do was go over the last few days which had been magnificent. We’ll be together again next Thursday, and I am chatting to my kids about something serious as well. Liz has changed my life for the better.
It’s been a while since I blogged last, and boy have things changed. I think if it was possible, I would be swinging by the chandeliers at the moment. My last blog was very depressive – as have most of them for a while now, but things have happened because of the Angel reading that I did myself in October. One of the cards I got was “Michael’s Sword” and the meaning of it was that I was to picture a sword and cut ties between myself and someone that was hurting me mentally. I did that and it felt like a huge release. Allowed me to see things that had been there for a while but I was too blind to see.
When I went offline in July, I left a message on Facebook that if anyone wanted to stay in contact then they should let me have their MSN address. Almost as soon as I had posted this, I got a message from one person giving me their address so I added her to MSN. I had started talking to her originally on a friends page when we started to comment to each other on spousal abuse and the fact that both men and women suffer from it and it is unacceptable in any form whether it is mental or physical. After deactivating my account, this woman started talking to me nearly every day on MSN. She seemed to relate to my problems almost straight away, understanding where I was coming from and knowing what to say to help me out of the down times I was having.
Then I started getting texts off of her in the mornings saying “good morning”. I dismissed them at first as being sent to the wrong person. I started getting them regularly, and when I didn’t get one for a few days, I was really disappointed which did surprise me. We started texting more – talking on MSN, even when she had no internet connection. At one point through this, I hit an all time low, and there were two people who were there for me at all times. But this second one would text me when I needed it.
Then something very odd happened. She told me that someone had asked her out, and I was gutted. I kept trying to tell myself that she was too far out of the way for me anyway. Didn’t matter the fact that I had grown to like her. A lot. I was trying to tell myself that she was better off with this other person as he was closer to her. Over then next week or so, I tried to make my feelings known to her, but the answers I got weren’t straight yes or no answers so I didn’t know what she was saying. Then she started asking me similar questions, but I didn’t know what she was getting at, so I didn’t answer with yes or no. I was answering with questions. Then at 3am on 1st November she asked me a question that could only be answered with a yes or a no. So I answered with a yes and found out that she had been wanting to say something for as long as I had. But we were both too scared to say anything.
I have seen her once so far, and I’m going back next Sunday to spend another three days with her. Liz is extremely special to me, and my kids like her, and her kids like me. Watch this space for more information. Can’t wait to see her again. my heart skips beats just thinking about her. Love you baby. xxxx
It’s been over a year since my ex-wife moved out, and I have been trying to fathom why these last three months have been some of the worst. Then a couple of days ago I figured it out. I had been hiding. I know that sounds odd because I have been talking about everything a lot – maybe too much. I have been fairly happy for the first half of this year with a few down days – maybe a week, but on the whole I had been coping. Then in July everything went downhill fast. I will admit – I was suicidal twice since June, one time even phoning the undertakers to check on the price of funerals. I had just enough money to cover it but something happened that stopped me – but I won’t say what that was. I do, however, think it it had something to do with angels. Whether you believe in angels or not, they are around us – helping us – guiding us. But sometimes I think things get too much for them as well.
In this last week I have started on an upward trend again – not being quite so paranoid and accepting that there is a good reason for things to happen, not people going out of their way to avoid me or me upsetting people. I have started to realise that if someone is unhappy it’s not because of me. One of the things that helped me see this was being a rock for someone who was in desperate need of help and encouragement. Some of my humour has started to come back as well, although I very much doubt I will flirt for a very long time – maybe even put that part of me behind and leave it forever.
How I had been hiding was by going away every month to see friends and getting away from everything – the town, the people, everything that reminded me of the problems I was having. Now though, I haven’t been away for four months. It took me by surprise at how long it’s been, but these last months have been very slow motion for me with good news then bad news then good then bad plus feeling like utter crap because of how I know I had made people feel. I have now had ten weeks of counselling and I feel I am improving. I just hope that this is the way forward. I really don’t want to fall again as there’s only a certain amount of times that friends are willing to catch you. I do thank my friends for being there for me through all of this. This time I feel there IS a light at the end of the tunnel and not some sod turning the lights off and on.
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